i had unplug nite performance today.. so cool..
n im sally princess.. haha.. so sweet n pretty.. well, i sound so zi lian, but its all fact..( wow.. worse) haha.. n i wore the dress which i made it myself n every1 was lyk wow, so gorgeous!! haha..
not bad la.. anyway, i sang e song "once upon a december" didnt really practice too much, haf a hard time to find my key during e rehearsal, but it turned out 2 b alright..
den theres this 1 guy who is quite cute la, he was watching my performance n im so honoured tt he only video recorded my performance.. haha.. so funny.. he say he gonna put it on Utube.. haha.. NO THANX!!

but quite sad la.. i got no cam now.. cos its spoilt.. argh!! we went swimming ytd.. den take photos.. lyd slipn fall into e pool with my cam.. tts y now my cam is dead.. i send it to repair.. but they onli accept damage not due to water.. so i got to wait until e water evaporate den i go n send.. say its not my fault la..haha but really la, today didnt take photos of princess sally!! haiz..

anyway, i really cant believe tt i will lyk him la.. or its jus a crush.. but i haf been thinkin of him leh.. sigh.. well, he called me sally princess.. haha.. i can call myself tt too.. hmph..
maybe its bcos he is e onli guy i feel comfortable during e rehearsal n such yah.. n we were close once n i knew him well.. there's this guy who is damn freaky, i seriously cant stand him n had been avoiding him lyk siao la.. he's jus too frenly for me la.. n e kind of topic tt he's tokin to me abt its totally not interesting.. n i dun wan to tok to him.. haha.. so boring.. e worst it tt he msg u every now n den.. spare me!!! so today i didnt even go lunch with they all la.. cos he is there.. haha.. instead i went alone. yeah!! n wat i hate most is e kind of stare tt he gif u.. eeeeks.. when i was helpin this gal to do makeup, he is jus staring at me la.. freaky!! so i dun even want o look at him.. den there's another guy, we r quite close la, but i jus got irritated, cos its getting too close.. call me for nth de. irritating, wasting my time.. well, there muz b some limit to how close a guy n me can get la, if i jus take him as a fren.. this is really too much..
so bcos of this, i tend to haf a crush on him, who sang tt song... n he's totally pink la.. hahahahahaha.. i was helpin him to tie tt pink tie.. haha..so funny.. but i did believe we had smth gg on last yr, when we always chat on e phone n gg for meals toget, n he got e kind of eye for me, he's lyk e cctv lor, observing every of my actions.
anyway, i dun lyk e way he touch my face today.. n wat he think he's doing.. haha.. hope he will do well for his exams la.. n not to haf fever so frequent la.. so useless.. always sick.
wats funny was his remark abt my makeup.. i was asking for opinions to check if i look to fierce or not.. den his answer was no, but i find u appealing.. wat e.. haha.. so funny.. haha..
anyway, today last day for my gor to b in spore.. will miss him badly!!
so i noe its getting very late now.. go slp k.. nitez=)

e furthur e better

Im very pissed.. Rather a mixture of feelings
I ran out of home ytd,
Taking only my bus pass n hand phone n a packet of tissue paper n not forgetting my econs notes…
Im penniless or rather it’s not a must for me to survive on money…
Money is jus a thing to satisfy my lust, desire… im referring to me buying goods.
Ppl often say tt when a woman is feeling low, she will buy a lot of thing. She will jus continue to splurge until she is satisfied… I totally agree on this.
Im also guilty of this act… but in another form
There is smth missing in my life.. n tts love..
I dun have any form of emotional support from family, instead its tons of stress n responsibility for me..
Im seriously tired.. Very tired of all things.
physical connections = mental connections; those responsibilities are meant for ppl of older age n im doing it rite now, tts y im more mature… but I never see it as a bad thing.
Wat I need its jus smth simple.
A warm home
Some1 who care for me, cos my mum dun…
Attentions, am I jus so insignificant?
Hope e fact tt I ran away from home is a wake up call for her.
Being deprived of care n concern, guess only material gds can replace this gap partially
Actually, I had nowhere to go, I went out abt 8.15pm.
Taking only bus pass, I noe I can travel anywhere I wan to… but I was aimless n lonely n scared n cold…
E feeling was really terrible n I was tearing…
I boarded bus 14, initially I wanted to take all e way to bedok n take back, but I know im unfamiliar with e place n would be extremely scared… so I got off at suntect n went to esplanade.
Esplanade was indeed a nice place, I was there e day b4… but obviously it’s a very different feeling.
I headed straight to e roof terrace… e view was fantastic, tall structures, e sea, e breeze, e lightings… so romantic… ironically, I wanted to end there…
But I had no guts
I had no one… I was all-alone…
This feeling of being stranded on a remote island helplessly was not strange to me…
E absence of love…
All alone
Desperate
Silly?
I don’t know…

Im a posh person, even in e midst of running away, my thoughts n feelings r noted down in poem form…

I left home
Out of frustration.
Its cold out there
And yet it seemed warmer.
I have no where to go
Except heading aimlessly or so…
Stress overwhelmed me
Of that simple and carefree life…
Love me
Or leave me,
Don’t question me!
Desperation kills…
Im running…
Far from the place
I call home
30 may 06